Well, last night I went a bit (understatement) ring crazy. I ended up looking through every letter for anything that even remotely interested me, and then going back through, with my list, and joining the ones that I hadn't convinced myself not to. I got rid of at least ten that I was considering, so I really didn't do too terribly there. I just got addicted to the whole idea of diaryrings, after a while. Once you start...
I just get obsessive about everything, that's all.
In school yesterday, history class, teacher's words: "I know that some of you have hobbies, where you learn about WWII and Holocaust things..." And she was looking at me. And I was just thinking, "Some of us? Don't you mean just me?" The Holocaust is one of my pet topics. She knows this. I don't think anyone else in the class cares at all for anything involving the war, however. At this point I know an absolutely disgusting amount about everything related to Judaism and the Holocaust, because I got obsessive. And that's just one topic, of course.
So I learn lots of completely useless information that can be used to entertain random strangers at cocktail parties. (This is assuming that I would ever go to a cocktail party, of course [which I haven't], and also assuming that I would talk if I did go to one [which I wouldn't.]) But all the same, it's good for getting your family to look at you with a "How on Earth did you know all that?" expression on their face, which is perfectly priceless.
Of course, my greatest obsession is myself, inevitably. (Because, honestly, why else would I keep an online journal?) Or any journal at all, honestly. Of course, self-obsession more often takes the form of self-disgust, for me. But as they're similar demons, we're not about to differentiate. Moods determine whether I love myself or hate myself, though it is always my soul or mind that I am loving or hating. Body is irreproachable, as it is unimportant, and is rather close to my ideal in any case, honestly.
This isn't where I wanted this entry to go, but in order to get this entry where I wanted it to go, I would've had to have stayed relatively on topic with the first sentence. This proved impossible. So now I have nothing else to say and can't go backwards. Ah, well.
revoless.
3:53 p.m.
2001-04-18.
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