When I see happiness and joy, with no dark clouds, I always think of death. I see events with no dark side as finite, ultimately unfulfilling activities. They always die. You have pleasure for a while, and I do appreciate that, but I always link them with death and destruction. Happiness is destruction. I think this is why I don't appreciate happiness as much as I appreciate sadness. And why I don't see how people can want to be happy all of the time.
I become acutely frustrated when people don't appreciate sadness and tragedy. When people moan and complain about it. I think tragedy is beautiful. In fact, I think it's the only form of undiluted beauty. From tragedy, there is only an upward path. This makes sadness itself beautiful to me. Something to be treasured when it's experienced. Because beauty and sadness go together like nothing else, in my admittedly warped perception of the world.
Maybe I just own too many sad movies/albums/books. But I am fairly far gone with this one.
revoless.
9:36 p.m.
September 14, 2002.
comments? 6.