A music entry. I know, I know, shocking!:

Drinking Jasmine tea in an attempt to wake up. Not very efficient, true, but it works in the end. Singing along to Bright Eyes. Loud. I still enjoy this more than anything. Letting my voice come out.

I've been singing in my lower register more often lately. Voice lessons got me in the habit of singing in the higher one. It's certainly better for me to do so. I'm an alto by nature, which makes pretending to be a soprano (or a mezzo-soprano) highly beneficial for me. Expands the lower end as well, et al. But I missed my low voice. After years of work, I've gotten my high voice to be as resonant as the lower, but I still prefer the low notes. Sultry. Like coffee.

Besides, most women can't get anywhere near the low notes I can hit. There's a certain satisfaction in the fact that I can hit them and sound fucking brilliant, while most can't. It's what I'm good at.

Singing along to things at all has become a different experience for me. For years I would sing along to albums and try to sound like whoever, well, the person who was singing. Considering what I tend to listen to: Elliott Smith, Bright Eyes, well. That's been the worst of it lately. You see how it could be a problem. But recently I've mostly had it on as a rough guide. I change the key frequently. Bring the vocal line up or down an octave from what's actually sung (I tend to switch from one of these extremes to the other any time I start getting bored with a song, but don't tell anyone that). I change the notes. I change the time a little, but only a little. It is one of those things that doesn't really like to be fucked with. Not when the album will go on regardless. Basically I steal the words, use the instrumentation, and cover up the vocals with my own. And I enjoy it immensely.

It's much more satisfying to project my voice over my records than to try to make said voice submit to the recorded sound. There. That's what I was trying to get at, in my roundabout way. (And yes, it took me that many years to figure this out.) Because I do like my voice. A lot. It's just not so pretty when it's trying to sound like other people.

11:31 a.m.
June 15, 2004.
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A dazzling list of mistakes or A memory (going to Maryland)

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