Valentine's Day was wonderful.
I arrived at my mother's, and we talked about...everything. I laughed a lot. I tend to find everything in the world rather absurd, so any time I see the world at all I tend to laugh a lot. And there's much more to see in the city than the country.
I'm going out of order.
When I got there she gave me a stuffed animal for the holiday, complete with story about how it jumped off the shelf towards her after she'd thought about it, and how she therefore had to buy it. She also gave me my mail, which contained a 7" from Better Looking Records which I entirely forgot I was going to be getting (and actually enjoyed immensely, despite having heard neither of the bands before).
And we talked about God and life and her health and...I don't know, a lot of wonderful and terrible things that needed to be let out. She revealed that she's been persuaded to go to church, which I think is brilliant. I really do think it would help her, if she found the right one. I've been trying to persuade her to go to church for years, though primarily for selfish reasons. Lately I've come closer and closer to believing in God (again), so it's a brilliant thing for me as well.
I do want God in my life, and now it seems that no matter where I am that's possible. I don't know if I'll be able to maintain the fragile faith I've attained thus far, but it's a reasonable goal. Anything worth having takes time, and especially maintenance. Knowledge, friends, family. I imagine God, or at least faith, is a similar monster.
We went grocery shopping after we'd chatted some and she'd completed the list. Shopping with my mother is incredibly pleasurable. She's efficient to a fault. Barreling down the aisles at high speed, going directly for what she needs without missing anything along the way. It's a brilliant change from shopping with my grandmother (though I do enjoy loitering in aisles as well, as it gives me time to dance and sing and giggle at ironic cakes). At one store they had a Valentine's basket filled with diet foods and a copy of Cosmo advertising 'Exotic Sex Tips,' or something of the kind. It's the sort of thing that makes me wish I brought a camera with me everywhere I go. It was fucking brilliant and I loved it.
We went home with the food after this chatting and shopping and my mother prepared (ironed, etc) gifts for my cousin's fourth birthday, then went shopping at (dun dun DUN!) the mall. Yes.
There I bought the most brilliant skirt ever. I had been hoping to find a skirt of the kind for half a year, so you can imagine my joy. (I'd show and tell, but I can't find the skirt on the store's website, unfortunately.) While shopping I was actually forced to officially boycott pink. I imagine I will not be particularly efficient in this task, as my weak spot for bright pink is as intense as my weak spots for bright orange and red are, but just the same, the thought is there. Omnipresence tends to make me sick of things, and pink is everywhere right now.
I also found hot green, orange, and pink fishnets, along with brilliant plastic purses in exactly the same tones. I was unbelievably tempted. Wearing those with purely black and white outfits still strikes me as the most brilliant thing in the world, but alas, I did not buy them. I can't decide if they're me enough or not, and am still thinking. Will decide by Thursday, and buy some if they are. Probably in orange. I need more orange things. Also found some red heels with white/red polka dot trim and straps that would work absolutely brilliantly with a certain red and white '50's dress that I found in a thrift shop this summer. But I didn't buy those either. I couldn't justify the price for shoes that I would be buying for, essentially, one outfit. Though I do have a lot of red dresses, so perhaps I should reconsider that as well.
The moral is that I'm a bad consumer. I spend $21 in total even when I absolutely love a good number of the things I see. And I feel a bit excessive for that, really.
We came home, and I spent most of the next day lying in my bed reading and sleeping, alternating whenever I grew tired of one. My dreams pleased me, as did the book. I felt bad for not being more social, but I'll see my family again this week, so I suppose it's alright.
I was exhausted, in any case. I'd been awake for near 30 hours the previous day. And my mother was sick and resting most of the day, so it didn't seem so large a sin.
Then I came home, here! While bringing my car! (I had been letting my mother use my car until she could get her own, and she's finally been able to, so I could take mine back with me finally. I'm rather happy about that.) And I had a new 7" and a new, kitschy skirt, and I'd found the remote for my DVD player to bring back with me, which I'll probably want to use eventually, and I had talking time with my family, and oh. It was lovely, and I was happy.
I'd danced around my house singing 'Following the Leader' and I'd hugged people and it was nice. Beautiful, really.
And then I come here, and I find that I've regained and am probably going to stay in touch with two of the people I missed most in my life online, and that makes me obscenely happy, because they are more beautiful than just about anything in the world to me. And it's even more wonderful for the close proximity of the returns and the fact that I didn't think either would ever happen.
I just feel like I'm getting everything in the world that I want right now, and anything is possible, and everyone, everywhere is absolutely fucking beautiful.
I'm the happiest person in the world.
revoless.
12:35 a.m.
February 17, 2004.
Listening to: The Explosion.