I think I've forgotten how to sleep. Last night I went about it all wrong. Today I'm sitting here thinking about going to bed, and the entire process seems entirely unnatural.
In full goth garb today, mostly because I wanted to wear my new necklace. That, and I discovered that one of the songs I put on my newest (newer than the last newest) mix cd has a song on it whose lyrics are about turning into a werewolf. I'd never seen/heard that done before. I was awed and got pulled back into monsterworld. Especially since I accidentally seem to have put a decent amount of death/cemetery-centric songs on that cd. (Dammit, they had good rhythm! You think I pay attention to lyrics?)
Oh fuck, I got distracted.
The point: I didn't realise how butch I'd gotten lately until I saw myself in a dainty necklace, lace skirt, and corset. I was actually quite shocked to see myself in the mirror, and wanted to poke my face. It was all, 'Woah. You don't belong on this body. The last time you wore this you had hair!'
Quite shocking. I'll get used to it. Because I heart these clothes as much as my others, and sometimes living out a Whole Damned Cliche just feels like the most comfortable thing to do.
At least I understand my mother's concern about the necklace now. I really have become Miss Butch Lesbian.
Not sure if I'm tired or not. I'm going to go read some Burroughs once this album is over. I decided I missed him, and that seems to be a good criteria for choosing things to read.
I officially lost all remnants of my brain some time around 3am this morning, however, so I don't know how easily I'll be able to read today. I guess I can watch a movie if all else fails.
revoless.
9:48 a.m.
July 31, 2003.
Listening to: Fuck.