a poster girl with no poster:

Entry entry. Let's see. I think I am going to go to bed soon (as in, before 6pm) but I still wanted to write an entry. For a bit.

Today I have been looking in the mirror and finding myself unique and lovely. It's purely physical, but still. Glitter eyeshadow around the eyes. I look almost teary.

My stomach hurts. Dairy.

Just saw the last half of Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Very happy movie. 80's films=good. Not good in the technical sense, of course, but still quite enjoyable. I cannot tell you why.

In a very nonvocal mood, today. Didn't speak much for the longest time. Until my last period, actually. During that period, I actually got into a conversation with my current crush. (I invent crushes, for fun, because I enjoy having them.) Apparently, he had nightmares about Mme Rall, as well. (He had her last year, I had her as a Freshman.) So we both learned that it is not an event that was only effecting our single persons. I just thought I was nuts, but apparently not. Either that or we're both fucking wacko, which is entirely possible as well.

Fun though, talking like that. I always seem to do better at talking to people I'm not supposed to talk to easily. Crushes. Rockstars. Friends, and people on the supposed same level as me, are difficult, though. I never know quite what to say.

I suppose that people I admire retain a certain level of humanity, while people I don't think of much are elevated to superhuman levels. They're outside of my mind, and thus out of my reach. Meanwhile, people I admire are in my thoughts often, so I feel that they're the same as me, and I can talk to them.

I realise this is the complete opposite of how most people react, and it isn't all that rational, but. Nonetheless. It's how my mind works. And it serves me well, when I talk to the right people.

If only I could convince myself that everyone was equal to me, and not better than me. Ah, well. We'll get there eventually.

revoless.
5:48 p.m.
March 19, 2002.
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